The Lightest Shade of Red
by meg-claire79
Summary: Sofia is having some personal troubles and she deals with them in the worst way possible. ***TRIGGER WARNING! SELF HARM!*** Sent in from anonymous request.


"Sofia? Are you home yet?" After walking through the front door of our house I make my way up the steps to Sofia's room. I stand in front of her door waiting for an answer. "Sof? Did you hear me?" Still with no answer I knock before entering her room. Something she kept bugging us about when she turned sixteen. Her ultimatum to putting a lock on the door was to start respecting her privacy and start knocking. Personally, I wouldn't have minded giving her a lock. She's a teen and she deserves some privacy. But Callie on the other hand, she settled for the knocking.

Upon entering Sofia's room, I see her sitting on the window seat with headphones in her ears gazing out to the back yard. I walk into her and place a kiss on the top of her head. She leans into my stomach as she pulls her headphones out.

"Hey beautiful. You are feeling okay?" Feeling her nod against her nod yes against my stomach I pull away and look down at her. "You sure?" Sofia leans back against the window sill and keeps her eyes on the backyard.

"Yeah I'm fine mom. Just a long day at school. I think staying up late is starting to catch up with me." She looks over at me and smiles. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes and her dimples don't pop. I don't think much of it because I know what she's telling me is true. She's been slammed with homework and extracurricular activities. Callie and I have been pushing her to do her best at school. She seems to be handling it just fine but there's days like today where I wish we didn't push her so hard but she'll thank us at the end.

"Alright well, I'm down stairs in my office if you need me. I'll fix dinner in a while." With a nod from Sofia I make my way out of her room and down to my office.

*Later that night*

The whole night I had Sofia on my mind. Something felt wrong but I couldn't put a finger on it. After putting the last dish in the dishwasher from dinner I turn to face Sofia who is sitting on the couch.

"Since it's just us tonight beautiful how about a movie night? We haven't had one of those in a while." I offer a movie night as a time to unwind and relax from the day.

"I think I'm going to just get a bath and head to bed. Another long day tomorrow." She stands up from the couch and walks over to me. "I love you mom." After giving me a hug and a kiss she makes her way up the steps.

"Love you too Sof." I watch her retreat up the steps to her room. My mom instincts are still kicking in. _Something is going on…_ Once again, I push it to the back of my mind giving Sofia credit for the reasoning she gave me. I decide to express my concern with my wife who happens to be the night shift unfortunately. Picking up my phone from the counter I dial the number I've had memorized for years. After a few rings the most beautiful voice I've ever heard comes over the speaker.

"Hey pretty lady." Callie's words cause a calming wave to wash over my body.

"Hey honey. How's work?" Deciding to fix one of Sofia's favorite comfort item loco coco I start gathering the ingredients.

"It's fine. A little slow though. How are you and Sof?" After putting the milk in a pot to warm up I put in some chocolate chips to melt them.

"We're alright. Just finished dinner. Sof is up in her room taking a bath." I stir the mixture in the pan to combine everything. "Calliope. Have you noticed how Sof has been acting lately? She was stuck sitting in the window seat in her room listening to music for the third time this week. Not to mention how quiet she's been for the last few weeks it's been worrying me. You think we're pressuring her too much?" I walk over to the spice cabinet and grab the ones I need and add them.

" Yeah, I've noticed that too. Maybe it's the age. I was like that sometimes at that age. I'll give her a call in a few minutes and talk to her." I hear a loud beeping in the background that I know all too well. "I've got to go. Go give her a kiss for me. If I get a minute I'll call her. If not I'll talk to her when I get home in the morning. I love you Arizona." Her last four words make a smile creep across my face. We've been back together for a few years now and they still get to me.

"I love you too Calliope. Go be awesome" With that I hang up the phone. At this point the hot chocolate mix is all done. I put it in a mug and top it with whip cream and cinnamon then stick two Oreos on top. After deeming the cup presentable I grab the cup and my phone then head up the steps to Sofia's room. I walk in and take in the room. She has pictures of friends and family hanging on the wall attached to a string of lights. A picture of her and Mark on her night stand beside her bed. _When did you get so old baby girl?_ I walk over to the closed bathroom door and knock. No response.

"Sof? You better not have those head phones in while you're in the tub." With no response, I open the door. "Sof?" The sight I walk in on causes all thoughts and air to rush out of my body. The mug full of hot chocolate slips from my hand and shatters on the floor. "Sof… SOFIA!" Rushing over to the tub where she is sitting in a tub full of blood stained water tears start streaming down my face. "No. No. Sofia. Please look at me." I take hold of her pale face and try to look in her eyes. Her face is tear stained. The color isn't bright. No sign of life. But I can see hidden pain and hurt. Choking back a sob I move my fingers down to check her pulse. _Barely there but it's something._ I examine the arm that is hanging over the other side of the tub covered with blood dripping off of her fingers pooling in the floor. I see three diagonal cuts going one way then three more going the other way. I frantically grab the other wrist from the water and see the same thing. "Why Sof. Why…" Finally, my doctor instincts rush into full overdrive. I rush over to the hand towel rack and pull two hand towels. I wrap each wrist with a hand towel and tie it to keep pressure on the wounds. I pull my phone from my hip and dial 911.

"Seattle Emergency Dispatch. What's your emergency?"

"This is Dr. Robbins from Grey Sloan Hospital I need an ambulance in route to my house immediately. My daughter tried to commit suicide." My voice breaks with the word suicide.

"Okay Dr. Robbins I need you to remain calm. EMS will be there in fifteen minutes." I hang up and put my phone back in my pocket. I pull Sofia's still clothed body from the tub. Her white shirt is stained the lightest shade of red from the blood and water mixture. With trembling hands, I run my fingers through her hair because I know that's what she likes to have done to her when she's in pain. "Baby no…" I sit down on the floor indian style and pull her limp body into my lap while I wait for EMS. I stay there until the sound of feet pounding up the steps pull me from my daze. Seconds later medics rush through the door.

"Uh. Her pulse is still here. It's faint. But it's there. Multiple wrist lacerations on both wrists. She's lot a lot of blood. Both wrists have been dressed to the best of my abilities." My eyes never leave Sofia's face.

"Okay ma'am we need to get her in the truck." I nod and hold tight to Sofia. My body won't budge even though my brain is saying to run out of this room and take my baby to safety. "Ma'am? She's going to die if we don't get moving." I slowly get up bringing Sofia's body with me. I cradle her in my arms as I walk out of the house to the rig. The medics open the door for me to get in with her. Once inside I lay her body on the stretcher and take a seat on the bench. Seconds later we're pulling off. I'm in a daze and forget to make any calls on the way to the hospital. The feeling of the rig stopping pulls me out of my state. I hear a hit to the back doors and the medic besides me opens them.

"Female age sixteen. Attempted suicide. Major wrist lacerations." I can feel the eyes on us but I can't move. Hell, I can't breathe. The voice of Owen Hunt pulls my attention.

"Robbins… what the hell happened?" I look over at him but he's blurry from the unshed tears.

"I-I- I don't k-know" He extends his hand to help me down. I see them wheeling Sofia into a trauma room where they assess and redress her wounds. I can't move from the spot I'm standing in the middle of the ER.

"Arizona…" I let out a strangled sigh at that voice. It's laced with pain and confusion. I turn to meet the person talking to me. Once I meet those brown eyes I lose it.

"Callie…" My knees give out and I start to fall but strong arms catch me and pull me into a hug. "She… Sofia tried to ki- kill herself…" I sob out.

"Come on honey lets go see what they're doing." Callie and I walk over to the trauma room and see Bailey tending to her wounds. I choke back another sob at the sight.

"I told you something was wrong with her." I walk over to my daughter and stroke her hair again sending silent thank you to whatever god was watcher over Sofia to make sure she didn't die.

*Later that Evening*

Callie and I have been sitting in a room waiting for Sofia to come around. Callie hadn't said much but I know it's best to not pick her brain right now so instead I sit here on this couch and hold her hand giving her all the comfort I can right now. A groan pulls our attentions to the young lady laying in this hospital bed.

"Sof?" Callie and I both hop up and stand at her sides. Our only answer is another groan. I look over at Callie with pleading eyes.

"Sofia open your eyes please. Pl-please." Sofia's head turns to the direction of Callie's voice. Her eyes flutter open. Callie and I both let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her eyes.

"Hey beautiful…" I croak out as I hold back I sob. I place my hand on her cheek as her eyes find mine.

"Mom…" Then her eyes go back to Callie "Momma… what happened?" Her eyes shift down to her wrists and see them covered in gauze then close again. I slowly hold her hand that is beside me and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Mija what happened?" When brown eyes opened again tears fell. Meeting Callie's eyes dead on Sofia finally opened up.

"I can't do it. It's too much Momma." Sofia hung her head as I sit down beside her.

"What's too much Sof?" Now her eyes meet mine. Her eyes are still filled with pain which breaks my heart.

"Everything. They think just because I have to moms something is wrong with me. People have been leaving mean notes. Saying stuff about you two. It makes me mad. It hurts me. This one boy Nick is the worst he told me that all of us are damned to hell because we are living a life of sin." She looked away from me and down at her wrists. "He said that if I ever need to be straightened out to give him a call. Then today he saw me with Macey on the bleachers talking. He got a few of his friends to come talk to us. They were trying to run her off. They told her I was going to take advantage of her and make her a sinner too. Macey believed them and she left me sitting there crying. Then one guy had the nerve to ask if anything happened between Macey could he watch. I don't even like girl's mom. But I still get judged. I did nothing wrong. The teachers don't do anything either. They just look the other way." Being speechless was an understatement. Along with being angry. I rose from her bed and started pacing. Thank god for my beautiful wife and her fast brain.

"Sof. Nothing is wrong with you. Love is love. People are raised with different beliefs than what you were raised with. You were raised to not see color or judge people by their gender or sexuality. Some people only see in black and white while you see in vivid color. As for this Nick kid. Why didn't you say something to us? We could've helped you or gone to the principle. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own. We're your parents for a reason. A whole lot could've been done to prevent this…" I looked over to see Callie pick up Sofia's wrists and give each of them a kiss. A smile tugs at my lips. "You are so loved. Please, talk to us. We can help you. You scared us. If you had not made it through this I don't know what we would've done. You're so much more than a face in the crowd or an outsider. You are not a waste of space or air. You have so much potential in your life. Please believe me." I watch the interaction in between my wife and daughter. Tears fall from both of their eyes and as Sofia leans in for a hug.

"I love you both so much. I'm so sorry."


End file.
